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The modern definition of “schmoozing” is to engage in social conversation in an effort to further a social connection or gain a professional advantage. In short, schmoozing can be the gold medal that opens up the best of networking opportunities.
Suffice it to say, the art of schmoozing is not easy. There is a fine line between saying the right amount without going overboard and being sincere without sucking up. And, in most situations, the art of schmoozing takes place most effectively in face-to-face situations. The “eyes” have it and being able to maintain eye contact with the other person enables you to control the conversation more effectively.
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that the primary goal of the schmooze is to simply establish contact with someone. It is not about meeting a total stranger and asking for a job or any other favor.
Let’s look at some suggestions on how to train for your next schmoozing opportunity.
1. Prepare for the situation. Whatever the event, research the association, group or subject matter so that you can engage in meaningful conversation with the people that you meet.
2. Prepare your introduction. As corny as it may sound, prepare a 10 second introduction about yourself that includes your reason for being there. It will enable you to sound confident and give the other person a quick way of opening a dialogue.
3. Opening the dialogue. Research shows that the best way to start a dialogue is the simplest way. Approach someone and say, “Hello. My name is...”. In most group situations, there is someone standing alone looking uncomfortable and nervous. They are the perfect place to start.
4. Small talk is what it’s all about. While many people don’t like small talk, it is the stuff that helps bond relationships. Invariably the common thread with someone else is found in the small talk. You find that you have similar interests, went to the same school or have similar professional backgrounds. Look for the common thread.
5. Forget the digital world. The use of emails, IMs and Tweets have taken over our previous communication method of speaking directly to someone. Schmoozing means returning to the olden days of communicating through the spoken word and the language for each method is different. Speak clearly and enunciate but also ask questions and listen to what the other person is saying.
6. Perfect close. At some point, you’ll realize that it’s time to close the conversation. Indicate how much you’ve enjoyed speaking with them and, if appropriate, exchange business cards or phone numbers.
If you’re extroverted, schmoozing is easy. If you find it uncomfortable or awkward, just keep practicing. Not only will it get easier, it will expand your network and job opportunities.
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