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It goes without saying that working with other people can be the most rewarding and most frustrating part of every work day and often those emotions can occur in the same day. Not only do you have to deal with your boss and their boss and everyone higher up the chain of command, there are your colleagues, staff that you manage and personnel within other departments, subsidiaries or related organizations.
While some people are easy to get along with, others present major challenges and you can find that more of your time is spent devoted to personalities that productivity. What’s the best way to deal with these dynamics?
There are many types of “office personalities” and understanding the fundamentals of each type makes it easier to find the solutions to effectively deal with them. In this article, we’ll look at three of the most common problem types.
1. The Gossip – They enjoy spending time either finding out as much information about what’s going on or passing along that information as they do actually working. They thrive on being in the know about not only what’s happening in the workplace but also what’s happening in their co-workers’ personal lives. For them, information that no one else has is power.
Solution – First, be cautious about what you tell these individuals to avoid being the “source”. While that may seem to go without saying, you would be surprised how easy it is to say something harmless without even thinking, only to find that when it is passed along, the exaggeration factor has taken hold.
Second, don’t be a gossip listener. With today’s media going to great lengths to scrutinize every aspect of a public personality’s life, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the drama of someone else’s problems or issues. However, not only do you waste time getting wrapped up in the dialogue, it’s essential to remember that listening can often lead to saying something you’ll regret later. And, remember that the Gossip has to constantly have new information to fulfill their goal.
2. The Negative (also known as “Too Many”) – No matter what is happening, this person sees only the negative. Too many hours, too little pay, too many things to juggle, too many health issues, too many demands at home, too many incompetents to deal with. These people tend to be victims and seek sympathy or commiseration. However, in trying to get their needs met, they often end up making you feel frustrated, impatient, sad or depressed. Now those are not healthy, uplifting emotions.
Solution – The easiest way to deal with these people is to avoid them unless absolutely necessary. The negative impact that they can have is truly counterproductive to health and happiness; not to mention productivity. If you find that a negative discussion is unavoidable, you might adapt the approach of asking the question, “So, tell me one thing good that has happened lately.” Often when confronted with that question, they either redirect their energy into a positive realm or totally avoid involving you in future discussions.
3. The Egotist – Everyone at some time has encountered that unbelievable person who has such a highly inflated perception about themselves that you almost want to laugh. No one works harder than they do, no one is brighter, no one has more effective solutions, etc. etc. Often if you find yourself in a situation where someone takes credit for work that you’ve done or ideas that you’ve had, 9 times out of 10, the Egotist is the culprit. Or, if the stories being narrated are just too exaggerated, you’ll know that it’s time to feed the Egotist. They believe in the doctrine of “Superiority at all costs”.
Solution – If you find they’ve taken credit for your work or ideas, ask yourself rationally if it’s worth calling them on it. In the unfortunate situation where the Egotist also happens to be your boss, you may come to a different decision. On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is this to you? If the answer is over a 7, then you might sit down with the person and unemotionally go through how you viewed the sequence of events and why you believe that it was your work or idea. The important thing is to stay calm and rational in your approach. Even if they don’t concede, they’ll be less likely to do it in the future.
If the person is just a braggart, chances are they have low self-esteem and mask it by exaggerating. The simple fact of acknowledging that possibility can make it easier to deal with them. Try one of these two approaches:
• Compliment them on something which is exactly what they’re looking for; or
• Keep asking for greater details on whatever they’re bragging about as the introduction of reality into their exaggeration often causes them to give up quickly.
While office personalities are a fact of life, the key is to try and deal quickly and effectively with each one. Be sure to keep your eye on the key component of your work responsibilities and learn to manage the peripheral issue of personalities. And, occasionally ask yourself which personality are you?
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